Tragic

Tragedy struck my circle of friends this week. My friend Lori lost her brother, Ben to an aortic aneurysm. He was only 24 years old. You can read the details here. It's horrible. It's unimaginable. It's the saddest sadness I've ever witnessed.

The Allen family is awesome. They are warm and funny and welcoming. They are always ready to eat, travel or shop. We have lunch with them at least once a month after church. Last year, our family was in Colorado the same time as theirs. They all loaded up - Tom, Judy, Ben and Cade Allen plus Paul, Lori and Macy Wallace - and traveled almost 2 hours to spend the day with us. The guys went fly-fishing and the girls went shopping. They are easy to be with. They are family.

I remember the first time I met Ben. Paul & Lori lived two doors down from us and they were having a garage sale. We were just getting to know each other (after 2 years of living on the same street, but that's another post for another time). I brought some things down to put in the sale and Ben was there. He was just so cute, funny and easygoing. He reminded me of my little brother. Ben is six years younger than Lori. My brother Doug is eight years younger than me. Lori and I agree that it was like our mom's gave us a real live baby doll. A great gift for girls like us.

Lori and I hang out a lot. Our husbands are friends. Our kids are friends - Macy calls Aidan her "prince" or "husband". We go on trips together. We like the same things, wear the same size. Although she's not just down the street, we still live near each other. On pretty days, we meet at the park with the kids. We have lunch. We have dinner. She's one of my closest and dearest friends.

The news of her brothers death came as a shock. Paul called late Monday night. I was in a zyrtec and benadryl induced sleep, when Matt woke me up to tell me the news...Ben had chest pains...called himself an ambulance...Tom & Judy charted a plane to Houston...Lori went too...Ben died before they got there.... I tossed and turned the entire night - praying that it wasn't so, praying for my friend. The next morning I woke up to the phone ringing. It was true. He was gone.

All I could do was text Lori. It was early, I hoped she was asleep. She called later that morning - weeping. I asked what I could do. She said "call your brothers." I did.

I was there when their plane arrived from Houston. There was a large group of friends and family. Utter sadness. Devastation. Lots of tears. Lots of hugs. Few words.

The week was spent praying and loving on Lori and her family. Because most of my friends have little kids, it was hard to just "be." We did: packed a basket of goodies, brought coffee, shopped, hugged. She said she wanted something new for the funeral. About 8 of us immediately headed to the mall. Since Lori and I are the same size, I got to be the model! She felt good, we felt good, it was a light in the midst of darkness.

The funeral was Saturday afternoon - it was a "fun"eral, because that's how Ben would have wanted it. The pallbearers wore fly fishing shirts. It was a beautiful remembrance of a wonderful young man. We even laughed - his friend that was with him at the hospital, verified that he was "laughing all the way to the grave." Mostly, we cried.

Now, we can't forget. One week isn't enough to get over a loss like this - especially with Thanksgiving and Christmas almost here.